Yule Have Yoursef A Merry Little Christmas
by Venra
Summary: Frerin's barely a month old but that doesn't mean that Bilbo won't give him the best Yule anyways! Hobbit and Dwarrow traditions are blended as Thorin tries to deal with the guilt he still feels over his gold sickness. Meanwhile, Ori has an announcement to make. *Note: Not actually Christmas since these are Dwarrow in a fictional land Part Six of the Nothing Hurt's AU


Bilbo had been immensely relieved to learn that dwarrow did in fact celebrate Yule. There were even many similarities between the dwarvish concept of Yuleblot and the Shire's Yule, particularly in the emphasis on feast and family. But where Yule officially only consisted of two days(foreyule and afteryule which signified the end and beginning of the year), Yuleblot was technically a month-long affair full of promises and symbolic sacrifices. Bilbo was happy that the "sacrifices" really just meant that goats were slaughtered for the feasts, and was rather amused by the solemn declarations made by dwarrows in comparison to the rather frivolous and often unkept words of Hobbits made at this same time. It seemed like every year Hobbits resolved to organize their lives or quit smoking or whathaveyou, only to forget about their promise as soon as their hangover was cured. But for Dwarrows, the promises made during Yule were made soberly and genuinely meant. Failure to keep resolutions were punishable, not that Bilbo had ever seen a dwarf not fulfill his promise.

Yuleblot was also a lot more religious than Bilbo was used to as there were many declarations made in honour of or to Mahal. He didn't mind, Dwarrows (and indeed, almost all other races) had much closer ties to their creators than Hobbits, so it made sense to pay tribute to Mahal. Also, after Mahal's gift in the form of Frerin, Bilbo was just as fervent as any dwarf in his thanks giving to the deity.

Speaking of the young prince, this year was especially important as it was Frerin's first Yule and Bilbo was determined to give his baby the most genuine Yule experience, even if he wouldn't remember it. Having only been born early the month previous, Frerin was still impossibly tiny and had hardly left the King and his consort's rooms. Only sometimes taking a quick jaunt to Dís' rooms when Bilbo was feeling particularly sick of the same walls. As it was the young prince was required to have an entire squadron to escort him here and there due to dwarrow's infamously overprotective streak concerning their young. Bilbo actually didn't mind so much since winter was cold in the mountain and he had most of what he needed in their quarters anyways, garden included.

Besides, kin and company were constantly flowing through his doors leaving Bilbo and Thorin never wanting for company. All of the royal couple's friends adored the babe, who was incredibly well behaved as was the way of Fauntlings. Dís remarked that it was no wonder Hobbits had an absurd amount of children if their babes were so easy to take care of. Dwarflings were noisy, messy things that took a long time to mature and could drive its parents insane if they didn't have the right support group. As it was, Frerin did have a night-time wet nurse which allowed Bilbo and Thorin to get enough seep to properly run a kingdom as was traditional for dwarrow, but they didn't have nearly as much trouble as Thorin and Dís had with Kíli and Fíli. Overall, Bilbo was happy that Yule was a good excuse to bring Frerin out to see the lights and Erebor in its most festive mode. It was just a matter of creating new traditions now that they were a family.

Bilbo and Thorin blended both Dwarrow and Hobbit traditions, going to both the lavish dwarrow ceremonies as well as doing things like baking gingerbread houses and shortbread. That activity in particular was adored by Kíli and Fíli, who kept on attempting to eat the icing while helping their youngest cousin decorate. There was also the unfortunate incident where Kíli had attempted to climb onto Dwalin's shoulders so he could place the star on top of the tall tree in the main room of the royal apartments.. without informing Dwalin of his plan. It was a good thing that dwarrow's heads were so impermeable, or else Bilbo would have worried a lot more over his nephew's antics.

On the whole the entire month was filled with the same warm comforts Bilbo expected of Yule, reminding him of the time he spent with his parents before their deaths.

* * *

Extra-decorative lights strung throughout Erebor gave it an even cosier feeling in addition to the customary lamps that casted a warm glow. Music broke out spontaneously in all parts of the mountain and Bilbo was extraordinarily pleased when he learned that some Hobbit songs had made their way into the Yuleblot song standbys, they were catchy and upbeat enough that the skilled musicians of Erebor adopted them which gave Bilbo nostalgia and a feeling of thanks. Of course, 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins' also made its rounds, to which the Hobbit was less pleased with.

Humming a tune that may have been a hymn to Yavanna, Bilbo had Frerin strapped to his front as they and about half the company made their way to the hall where the The Yule Fest Vows, or the Strengdir, were performed. Because Thorin was King, there would be many powerful and influential distantly related kin, along with the Urs and the Ris who were small but had greatly increased their standing by being involved in the Company, and so earned their place.

"Are you sure Frerin is okay out like this?" Ori asked worriedly as he walked alongside the Hobbit. Thorin, Dís, and the boys were already in the hall preparing for everyone's arrival, leaving the others to escort their royal consort. "He's just so small."

"Oh he's fine Ori, Dís told me Frerin wasn't actually all that undersized for a dwarrow newborn and he would be the size of a twelve week old if he was purely hobbit."

Ori worried at his lip, giving a pleading look to Dwalin who walked at his other side, hand (not so) subtly placed on the small of the scribe's back to lead him. Bilbo was one of the few completely unsurprised when their courtship went public. On the journey the Hobbit observed them acting closely many times. If Ori was not with his brothers he was with Dwalin, either learning how to best defend himself or simply enjoying his company. Bilbo also noticed that the two touched each other a lot, and not in the rough way that kin manhandled each other but rather something softer and more gentle. Ori was seen as young by the other dwarrow, but to Bilbo he was an adult who went on a journey to reclaim a home he'd never even lived in. That bravery meant he was adult enough to decide when and who he wanted to involve himself with, even if it was several years before most other dwarrow even considered courtship, if they did at all.

"It's just there will be so many people," Ori pointed out. His fingers tangling in the ends of a newly knitted scarf around Dwalin's neck. "Aren't his ears sensitive?"  
"Ah, maybe a bit more so than a dwarfling's, that's true. But this is a quiet event, no loud music and people shut up to show their respect. I'm a bit more worried if he starts crying when someone's making a huge important declaration like avenging their father or the like." Which happened last year, it was a bit awkward since the man's father had actually died of a heart attack.

"Ach, no one's gonna care if the prince cries unless that prince is Kíli or Fíli," Dwalin stated confidently. "Babes are precious things and cannot be blamed for throwing a tantrum when they don't know better. Gimli here cried through an entire ceremony one year and he was already ten!"

"Hey!" Shouted the short auburn haired dwarf son of Gloin.

"It's true lad, don't deny it." Moving his hand from Ori's back to interlace his fingers with the scribe's own, Dwalin continued on, pleased that they were at the point of their courtship where they could do this publicly. "Besides, everyone that you know personally will be going first, if Frerin gets antsy you and Thorin can leave early, no one'll fault you for taking care or your bairn."

"Thank you, Dwalin," Bilbo said sincerely and even Ori seemed assuaged by Dwalin's reassurances. "I just hope Thorin is in a better mood than this morning. No one wants to start Yule off with bad feelings."

* * *

When Thorin awoke that morning, it was to the far too realistic memories of the things he had deeply regretted under the influence of gold sickness. Memories of words said to Bilbo, about his usefulness and his place haunted Thorin even seven years afterwards. It had been a while since his last nightmare, but every so often he was reminded of his greediness and this time was particularly damming as it was the first nightmare since Frerin cam into their lives.

"Thorin? Thorin what's wrong?" Came the soft voice of his sleeping companion beside him. Thorin could only shake his head, long tendrils of hair shaking around him in a curtain that protected him from the hobbit's view. Gently as he could, Bilbo reached for Thorin's face, cradling it in his hands and softly making his dwarf look him in the eye. He was unsurprised to see Thorin's tears, as his nightmares often struck him deepest while he was unguarded in sleep.

Wiping them away, Bilbo asked again "please, love. Tell me what woke you."

Holding Bilbo's hand to his face Thorin took a shaky breath and began quietly. "I don't know how I could possibly deserve you or Frerin, or any of this," the king admitted softly, eyes still bright with unshed tears.

"What? Thorin n-"  
"No it's true, Bilbo. I- I said and did such awful things to you when we found the entrance." Thorin looked away, unable to face his husband with these revelations. "You could have so easily died looking for the Arkenstone that first time, and I didn't care and even blamed you for getting rid of it. What kind of dwarf does that to his heart? Smaug was right, you didn't believe him but he was." Bilbo shook his head frantically, increasing his pressure and forcing Thorin to look him in the eye as he straddled the King's lap for leverage.

"No Thorin, no." Bilbo reprimanded firmly, "you did say those things and they did hurt but not for one second was Smaug right."  
"But-"

"No buts, he said you were using me, and you weren't, not really. Even in your deepest madness you may have blamed me and you may have scorned me, but you still loved me and kept me. Even at your worst I was never disposable to you, if I was I never would have stayed." Bilbo took a deep breath and felt a deep shudder in the body below his as he hugged Thorin as tight as he could. "Listen to me, my king. Madness may have taken you but we broke that curse together. You are the dwarf who married me, the dwarf who apologized on the battlefield of the five armies, the king of Erebor, that dwarf does deserve me because he loves me and I love him. More than anything in the world, more than even the Arkenstone or daisies in spring. You've worked hard for so long, Thorin, and I wish you would put your guilt away so that you can enjoy this life we built together, it's quite a good one."

Thorin gave one last sob before kissing Bilbo deeply and then peppering his face with lipsmacks in between exhalations.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry Bilbo. Thank you âzyung, thank you so much, I love you."

* * *

Feeling much more clear of mind, Thorin then had to spend the day getting ready for the night's vows. It was a logistical thing, how many dwarrow could possibly be at one ceremony and what order they were to go in. Normally this was decided by age and clan importance, but Ori made a special request to go right after Balin. When Thorin heard his reasoning, the king coud not refuse. Balin then wrote down a formal list of all of the of-age men who would be there and the order which they would go in hoping everything would proceed smoothly. Normally Strengdir ceremonies consisted of much smaller family groups, but since Thorin was king he attracted a lot more distant kin and affiliated lords.

When the time came and the hall was filled with noisy, loosely-queued dwarrow it was finally time for the ceremony to begin. On the exact minute of the changing of the hour, Thorin boomed a loud "quiet" which echoed throughout the hall and soon a respectful silence took over. There were no other speeches to be made, just the vows, and so he made his way up to the ceremonial bench.

Still shaken from his nightmare, Thorin new exactly what this year's vow would be, and it was a much more personal one than he usually did. His typical vow usually went somewhere along the lines of protecting Erebor, ensuring the people would prosper, traditional claims made by the king during this time. But now, as he placed his foot on the ceremonial stone bench(which Bilbo always said made him look like a majestic pirate from the stories, whatever that meant), and his hands in the fur of the Sónargǫltr, he said something different:

"I mount on the block and solemnly swear by Mahal… that until the day I die that my ultimate protection, my ultimate love, goes to my husband and my son. To my sister and my nephews, to my closest family. I swear to them that the needs of gold and jewels will never surpass my responsibilities to them, so that the conditions that attracted the wyrm to these halls will never be caused by my greed."

Taking a breath, he dismounted and holding his head high he made his way to where he knew Bilbo and the rest of the company was. There was no clapping or booing at his vow, there never was, but there was a soft rumbling through the audience as the dwarrow digested what he said. Let them, he wanted to make his vow as public as possible to show his commitment to his resolution and also to announce to his people where his priorities lay.

As soon as he reached them, Bilbo and Frerin were immediately in his arms.

"Oh, you silly dwarf! They should call you Thorin Sentimenalheart, because that's what you are. You didn't have to tell everyone!" Bilbo looked concerned and happy at the same time and Frerin bounced in his front-carrier oblivious to the goings on around him. Thorin smiled and gently stroked his son's soft black hair and gripped Bilbo as closely to him as he dared.

"Of course I did, I don't want to deceive anyone into thinking I would put them over you." Bilbo looked up at him, a twinkle in his eye as he finally accepted what a softy his husband was.

"I think…" Bilbo whispered directly into Thorin's rounded ear causing him to shiver, "we should pretend that Frerin isn't feeling well and go home. Let me… reward you for such a noble vow." Thorin flushed and nodded.

"But not before Ori's turn, he has something important to say." At this Bilbo looked confused.

"Ori? But… oh, is he budging? Isn't he supposed to be later?"  
"Yes," Thorin smirked. "But he has something important to say."

Just as Balin was finishing up his vow (which regretfully the royal couple missed entirely) Dwalin went to go take the stand but Ori merely pushed him back and shook his head. Dwalin, looking utterly confused but simply let the scribe go, who went up to the bench and assumed the position. His voice was soft but carried through the entire hall.

"I, Ori son of Ri mount on the block and solemnly swear by Mahal… that should he accept I will pledge myself to Dwalin son of Fundin and join his clan in the tradition of our people."

Silence, save for another light rumbling amongst the room. Anything louder would have been considered a protest which fortunately there was none of.

"Thorin! Thorin you knew about this!" Bilbo whispered as quietly as he could.

"Yes, just this afternoon," the king replied just as quietly, more a rumble of his vocal chords than anything.

"Oh! Oh what happens now? How does he reply? What happens if he doesn't reply?" Bilbo continued, frenetic with the excitement of the announcement.

"We planned this so Dwalin's next, he'll have to reply publically. If he rejects Ori, Ori will never court again, but that won't happen. I'm sure of it." Thorin said confidently as Ori nervously came off the podium, sharing a long look with Dwalin as they exchanged places. Dwalin's body language was strong and secure as he placed his foot on the bench and he looked not out to the crowd, but directly at Ori.

"I mount on the block and solemnly swear by Mahal… That I accept my True One's proposal and will spend this year in blissful azlâf until I have finished a home suitable for us to live. I accept him into my clan and join the Ris and Fundins together in matrimony."

They heard Ori gasp, and as soon as Dwalin's foot was off the podium the scribe's arms wrap around his neck and the city guard proceeded to lift the smaller dwarf off his feet. Thorin and Bilbo could hear soft whispers between them and the entire company was grinning from ear-to-ear. Kíli looked as though he was refraining from jumping up and down and they could see Dori muffling happy sobs behind his handkerchief. Nori nodded to himself in satisfaction and Balin looked entirely too pleased with himself from where he was comforting Dori.

While everyone was quietly celebrating their friends' change in status, Thorin sensed that his husband could no longer stand still in the formal confines of the Strengdir halls and leaned down to whisper:

"I think Frerin needs to go home and sleep before he causes a fuss, âzyung ." Bilbo looked up at his husband, eyes glimmering.

"I think you're right."  
Once outside the hall things felt much less confining as there was no one about except for themselves. Frerin was shifted to be strapped to Thorin's back and was now dozing silently as his fathers linked hands as they walked through the halls.

"Ohhh, I'm so happy for them." Bilbo announced, smiling at Thorin who hummed in agreement.

"There was no way Dwalin would have said no, I figured it was a safe plan by Ori."

"This really is the nicest Yule I can remember," Bilbo decided. He lifted their combined hands up and kissed Thorin's knuckle.

"It is. We have our health, our safety, our family, a new baby, and each other." Thorin stopped, pulling Bilbo towards him in a firm embrace.

"Merry Yuleblot, Bilbo."

"Happy Yule, Thorin."


End file.
